What not to Say to an Indian Pregnant Woman?
I was in Japan at first pregnancy and in India at second time. Only one strange thing I experienced in Japan was “Can I touch your belly?” Japanese people think if you touched a pregnant woman’s baby bump then you get good luck. Well, my Japanese friends used to ask me very politely and I felt it funny than strange so I never minded it.
But I was surprised to listen few people in India. Most of my friends and relatives never talked anything negative or discouraging things to me. But some people did say something I really hated. e.g. “Oh my god how will you manage with 2 kids??”, “your elder one is so young?? Oh God!!!” (Yes its true!!) I felt like saying ‘who asked you???’
Also one elderly strange woman asked why you hurried? I was shocked! I didn’t even look at her for any reaction.
It happens and may be we also don’t realize if we are making any mistake while talking to our pregnant friend. So Lets see what we should avoid saying to any pregnant lady.
1. Why now?? Isn’t it early for you to have kids?
Once a woman is pregnant, does it matter? A pregnant woman should always feel it was right choice to conceive. Negative thoughts are worst for a expectant mother. So always talk positively with a pregnant woman.
2. How will you manage after baby birth??
This is the most common question an Indian expectant lady gets from all over. As we have either mother or mom-in-law around for minimum first 40 days and just in case a woman doesn’t have such help do not tell her that its a bad idea to manage with help from only her partner. In many countries single mothers manage everything on their own. In India we have good domestic help so it is easily manageable.
3. Do you plan to work in last month and even after kids??
Every woman has right to take her career decisions whatever may be the situation. She knows very well that her kid has right to be with mother all the time but still she is an individual. Respect her choice. And why to think about it while one is pregnant? I found working is better during pregnancy as it keeps you active and you eat on time. So what happens in future should not be thought today.
4. Your belly is so big OR Your belly is small for a n months pregnant woman.
Every pregnancy is unique and let doctor decide if the belly size is right or wrong. 🙂
5. Sleep and relax now, as you wont get to sleep after baby is born.
As an experienced mother any one will tempt to say this but think about it again. You want expectant woman to feel happy about baby. Saying this is like saying ‘your life will be difficult after baby birth’ and will make her feel nervous.
6. Don’t go for natural birth, these days all opt for c-section.
Again, let doctor decide this, We confuse and scare an expectant woman by saying this.
7. Sharing tough times experiences
Most of Indian women around an expectant woman tell her how difficult the baby birth was and how tired she was during early days of baby or some post natal health issues, weight gain problems. Even if you want to say this, avoid it completely. As it will not benefit an expectant woman at all.
Pregnancy is most enjoyable part of a woman’s life. She must be happy all the time. Don’t leave any negative thoughts in her mind after you meet her. And if you are a pregnant woman and hear such comments then don’t think about them. Just remember, happy mother healthy baby.